September 2010
1 post
August 2010
1 post
June 2010
5 posts
Fail Whale
(Sung to tune of Alfie)
What’s it all about, Twit-ter?
Is it just for the tweeting, we live?
What’s it all about, with the going down, Twitter?
Did you just bite of more than you can chew?
Or are we all just nuts…and addicted to your bird…Twitter?
I believe in tweets, Twit-ter.
Without our tweets we can’t connect
or have friends,
Until I post the tweet...
American Drink: Rules for My Born Son. And You. →
1) Be polite and smile your brains out, but let the bartender flirt first. Always provide a number, never ask for one. 2) Decide what you will order on the drive to the bar. Eye contact is key, never wave money to get attention. 3) Vodka and Coke? That better be a joke. 4) If a song is longer…
Everyone should memorize #6.
“lameosexual (n)
1) one who is lame in clothing, personal, hygene, and matters...”
– (via joeschmitt)
Yes…I know many who fit that definition.
May 2010
2 posts
April 2010
6 posts
American Idol Tour Dates: FYI
7/1 Auburn Hills, MI Palace of Auburn Hills 5/15 10am 7/2 Milwaukee, WI Summerfest TBA TBA 7/3 Grand Rapids, MI Van Andel Arena 5/15 10am 7/5 Hamilton, ON Copps Coliseum 5/15 11am 7/7 Wantagh, NY Nikon at Jones Beach 5/15 10am 7/10 Atlantic City, NJ Mark G. Etess Arena 5/15 10am 7/11 Philadelphia, PA Wachovia Center 5/15 10am 7/13 Uncasville, CT Mohegan Sun Arena...
March 2010
1 post
February 2010
6 posts
I spent my 20s trying to control everything; now...
toldorknown:
(via travors)
I did the exact same thing, I swear.
(now the joke)
I’m spending my 40s trying to remember where I put everything.
You’ll spend your 50’s trying to remember why you cared about everything.
You’ll spend your 60’s trying to remember what everything was.
Penile Reaction
I was going to post something profound, but I forgot what it was. Thanks @gorillasushi .
Question
I’ve been away awhile and you guys have posted WAY TOO MUCH for me to read it all. Is there any new info about #chsh? Help an old lady out, here.
January 2010
16 posts
Cabin Fever Journal: Chapter 1
Sitting on the couch watching tv.
Me: I smell something. What is that.
Him: I don’t smell anything.
Me: You don’t smell that? It smells kind of like gasoline. Isn’t there some gas on the porch?
Him: I don’t smell it. There’s no gasoline on the porch.
Me: I smelled it yesterday too. I can’t believe you don’t smell it.
Him: You wanna change places?
...
#chsh
Planners: Please include info about area restaurants’ Senior Early Bird Specials. For a friend.
“For what it’s worth, it’s never too late, or in my case too early, to be whoever...”
– Benjamin Button
THIS.TODAY.ALWAYS. (I hope)
(via yayaa)
The fine art of kissing ass.
girlvanized:
The coworker who sits next to me is always arguing on the phone with clients. Every day, all the time, she has problems with people. Always, she has to get antagonistic and ask to speak to the other person’s supervisor. Never does it end with her or the other person satisfied. It’s a wonder she gets anything done.
I’ll stop and listen to her end of her phone calls because I’m...
I am a Reese's peanut butter cups fanatic.
monkeyfrog:
yodelmachine:
I just happened to have M&Ms on hand this morning, and people seem to have extremely strong feelings about them. MYSELF INCLUDED.
I can definitely cross the aisle and vote with the enemy on this one.
But what of the Butterfinger and the Heath Bar? The never get the recognition.
Road trips require Peanut M&Ms. Final Answer.
Pie
I’ve been a little disconcerted all day that no one was tweeting about Pie on National Pie Day. Were all the Pie people busy visiting west coast penitentiaries and unable to stop and smell the pie?
I admit I don’t visit Tumblr as often as I should, but I’m glad I did tonight. Here you are, you wonderful Pie-a-holics. You’re having fervent but reasonable debates and...
November 2009
4 posts
Why you should leave your lawn alone in winter.
After reading some Facebook posts discussing whether you should treat the lawn or just let the leaves blanket it for the winter, I wrote this:
The whole point of winter is to get a break from yard work, right? If God, in his wisdom, had intended for us to worry with our lawns all year, he would have placed us in FL instead of TN. If you are living in FL, be aware that God hates you. Further proof...
October 2009
6 posts
Speaking of ages past
frageelaytwit:
Read this review. READ IT. You can thank me later. I long to hear your responses.
“These are two big secreters.”
In education, we use the term “mind movie”. I hate to tell anyone about the mind movie I had while reading this. I may never get it out of my head.
September 2009
32 posts
Football
Sometimes it’s almost therapeutic to support a football team that has always sucked and, it seems, always will. You don’t waste valuable weekend time remembering past glories. There is no expectation of future excitement. You just enjoy the game as an opportunity for social interaction. Or you can stay home on the computer and drink alone. Or you can shop, go to festivals, etc. Unlike,...